Eating with ADHD: Barriers and Solutions

The four barriers that make it impossible to eat

If you have ADHD, you’ve definitely thought, “That’s too much work,” when it comes to eating.

But here’s the trick—inside that thought is the reason you’re not lazy.

I call them microbarriers: tiny barriers that feel stupid, but stop ADHDers from doing tasks

Once you name them, you can beat them. Example: grapes. My microbarrier? -> They were still on the vine. That tiny step made me avoid them until they went bad. Now I take them off and put them in a container.

Microbarriers don’t mean you’re lazy. They just mean your brain works different. So next time you think “too much work,” ask: what’s the microbarrier?

Four main microbarriers that stop people with ADHD from eating:

Food-ick/ Demand Avoidance

Shame

Motivation/ Boredom

Feeling Unsafe

Microbarriers aren’t proof you’re lazy, they’re proof your brain works differently. Name the barrier, then accept that it’s okay to accommodate yourself.

What’s the point in wasting energy and feeling frustrated with ourselves when we could accept that we need accommodations?

Four Microbarriers + Solutions

So, let’s dive in

Honey Sesame Chicken Salad

MICRO-BARRIER #1: Shame/food rules

In my experience, the more knowledge I had about food, the harder it became to eat. My thoughts became food rules, or ways to control what I ate under the guise of health. The more I attempted to control, the more distress I would experience. Feeling discomfort and shame, then adding in perfectionism to the mix, was a recipe for overwhelm.

SOLUTION: Therapy/Opposite Action

Seeking therapy or a dietitian is a great idea to help with shame and food rules. But that is not always available. For me, when I notice my food rules taking over my thoughts, I practice the opposite action for a few days: getting rid of my rules altogether and just eating something. It’s what I call level 1 of ADHD eating.

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MICRO-BARRIER #2: Motivation/not fun.

Eating can be super boring. Sometimes boredom is a barrier: it’s literally just not exciting enough.

SOLUTION: Distraction or novelty

When the microbarrier to eating is boredom, we can eat distracted. I know…everyone and their dog is saying to skip the phone during lunch, but if that gets you to eat? Do it. One way I do this is by choosing a YouTube channel to watch only during mealtime. If it works, it works. For others, it might just be that you need to eat something out of the ordinary. (Is this why we like takeout so much?)

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MICRO-BARRIER #3: Demand avoidance/food-ick

If you have ever, all of a sudden, stopped feeling like you’re able to eat in the middle of eating, you get it. We usually call this demand avoidance popping up or getting the ‘food-ick.’ The truth? There’s a deeper root: it’s trying to eat from a different energy level than we really are.

SOLUTION: Eat for your energy level

When we run into the food-ick, feel our demand avoidance pop up, it’s a sure sign of being back in level 1 of eating for ADHD. THAT means my body needs level 1 food:

• Finger food
• Drinkable calories
• Food I liked as a kid

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MICRO-BARRIER #4: Feeling unsafe

Out of all the barriers, this is probably the one that’s hardest to detect. However, it’s also probably the one you experience the most: something about the food is making you feel unsafe, and so either you over-eat or under-eat.

SOLUTION: Therapy/nervous system regulation 

Again, therapy from a psychologist or dietitian will help the most here. But I also encourage you to have some nervous system regulation skills to help when you feel like eating is controlling you instead of the other way around. For example:

• Exhaling deeply out of the mouth
• Moving to a comfortable location to eat, like the couch or bed
• Telling your brain, “thank you for trying to protect me from____” or “thank you for trying to keep me safe from ____” and then adding, “but I’m no longer there and am safe right now.”

The last one can take a lot of reflection and inner work. For example, sometimes I will eat almost all of my food, and then all of a sudden I feel unsafe. It’s a physical reaction that I used to think was the food ick, but it actually stemmed from childhood (my family was part of the clean plate club). So, when that pops up, I remind my brain this:

“You can choose whether or not to finish eating. No one will get mad at you. You can leave the table whenever you’d like.”

Then I take a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. Usually a few times.

If it doesn’t work, I’ll ask my husband to remind me it’s ok if I don’t finish. Sometimes, all I need is external validation.

So now, here is your external validation to let yourself have these accommodations. When eating is challenging, go through the list of four barriers and see what most fits for you.

This article summarizes the research from the aforementioned study and is for educational purposes only. Nothing in this article constitutes medical advice.

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